Pregnancy Blog 5 weeks 1 day

Alright, so since I lurve talking about being pregnant, I’m turning this into my pregnancy blog! Yay! So be ready to read anything and everything I’m thinking about. Worries, joys, and all the nitty gritty. ­čśŤ

So I checked out of my ship today and checked into TPU. It was sort of bittersweet. I got the ‘I’m disappointed in you’ thing from my boss. I mean I get where they’re all coming from, our division is already tiny and overloaded with work. But you can’t tell God you want a baby and say ‘oh but not right now.’ I just hate that they’re even voicing it. I dunno. I guess I want to be naive and think everyone is happy for me. Is that so wrong? Just wanting everyone to be happy for you after 3 1/2 years of sadness and ACTUAL disappointment? ┬áGah. Maybe I should explain what trying to┬áconceive┬áhas meant for me.

  • Last days of last cycle: Negative pregnancy tests. Disappointing every time, that never gets easy when it’s what you want. I usually ended up┬áover analyzing negative tests trying to see a line where there isn’t. Holding it up to the light and even going outside to hold it up to the sun.
  • Cycle day 1: Period starts, it’s never regular so I’m always upset. Time to start planning for the next month. I usually lash out at Juan because I feel like there is something we could have done different.
  • CD 3: First Response Fertility test. Pee in a cup, dip, wait for result. So starts the regiment for the month. This test lets me know I have the ovarian reserve to even attempt for the month. Some months it’s negative.
  • CD 5: Start temping. Every morning at 5am, whether I need to get up or not, I have to wake up to take my┬átemperature┬áwith a basal body temperature┬áthermometer. (It’s oral ya nasty!) It sucks when you don’t have to be up that morning… Then I have to put it into my temping software to see when I ovulate.
  • CD 6: Start ovulation sticks (yay) . Pee in a cup, dip, wait for result. Whenever the second line is darker than the control line, it is the best time to start doing it. We usually start every other day on CD 7, no matter the result. Everyday when I get a positive, then every other day until day 24. But everyday, I add that to the software so it can cross check itself.
  • Day Past Ovulation 1 (around CD 14): So begins the “2 week wait” I have to abstain from drinking and smoking at this point to make sure I don’t harm anything that’s starting to cook. I don’t completely, but I definitely cut back. This is the point that I start hyping up the “what if this is it!”
  • DPO 11 (around CD 25): Period should show up soon, I start to get anxious. I’ll usually start testing with my ‘cheapies.’ ┬áPee in a cup, dip, wait for result.┬áNegative, of course. I vow not to test again for at least 3 days.
  • DPO 12: I test again. Pee in a cup, dip, wait for result.┬áNegative…
  • DPO 15: Period starts, I cry, get mad and throw things. Sigh. Time to start over…

This is a typical cycle. Every cycle. For 3 1/2 years. So you might see why it’s a little bit of a jab in my side to hear anyone even entertaining the idea of being ‘disappointed’ that I got pregnant.

Now let me clarify one more thing. This was not the last 3 cycles. I stopped this about 4 months ago because the hubby and I needed to work on us. So Yes, I was still NOT on birth control, but we weren’t following this anymore. We got a new puppy and she was supposed to be my ‘baby’ for a while. But hey, shit happens. Fortunately for us, this baby is still very much wanted no matter when we stopped the crazy stuff. We’re so happy to be blessed. ­čÖé

So that was my journey. But luckily for me, on CD 33 of this last cycle, I was cleaning and a cheapie was poking out of the box I threw them in to put them out of sight… It was expired but I tried anyway and the result is my pumpkin seed. ┬áYAY! I can’t wait to meet the bubble! ­čÖé

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rachel
    Feb 11, 2010 @ 20:12:34

    Yay!! Well I am very happy for you!! I look forward to commenting on your blog like youve done for me! ­čÖé

    Reply

  2. jmoran818
    Feb 12, 2010 @ 16:05:55

    ­čÖé

    Reply

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