So yesterday I took the dogs to dog beach. Bad idea. LOL, I should only take one dog anywhere at a time. Bubba doesn’t listen to me and Roxy is still pretty unpredictable. If I am not holding her, she tries to get other people to pick her up. But I need her to learn to be a dog not a baby. BLAH.

In other news, I’m back to researching some more things that I want to implement in my parenting plans. I was already pro-attachment parenting, but I’m finding some really good information! Like how unlike animals we don’t stay pregnant until our baby is ready for the world. Ever see a giraffe come out and be helpless? Nope. A lot of it makes perfect sense. I’m just hoping that when Juan and I follow through with our parenting plan, we don’t have to deal with too many people trying to make us do it their way.

Gotta update the blog. So I’m backdating it a couple days. Just an FYI, I’m taking a multi-vitamin and basically treating my body as if I’m already pregnant. Except for the once in a blue moon drinking. But I only drink before O. 🙂

Cycle day: 3 (3/27)
Cycle: 1 (After MC)
Temp: 97.27
CM: AF/medium-heavy
Mood: Normal
Energy: Normal
Stress: Low
BD: No
Notes: none

Cycle day: 2 (3/26)
Cycle: 1 (After MC)
Temp: 97.27
CM: AF/low-medium
Mood: Normal
Energy: Normal
Stress: Low
BD: No
Notes: Not a full nights sleep

Cycle day: 4 (3/28)
Cycle: 1 (After MC)
Temp: 97.20
CM: AF/light
Mood: Normal
Energy: Normal
Stress: Low
BD: No
Notes: none

So now you know. 🙂

Back To School

The school of TTC that is. Bleh. Ah well here goes.

Cycle day: 1
Cycle: 1 (After MC)
Temp: 96.93
CM: AF/light
Mood: Normal
Energy: Normal
Stress: Low
BD: No.

If you have the link to my FF chart, it’s updated with today’s info. 🙂

Swim Safely, PLEASE.

I usually don’t tell this story until closer to summer. But I’m going to paste it here now, and will do it again once a month until winter.

I had just graduated high school in the Summer of 2005 and started my summer job at the city pool. We got red cross certified, NASCO certified, and had weekly training exercises. We should have been well prepared for anything.

June 18, 2005 I was told to work at Sanders pool the smallest and least busy of our 3 pools. The pool didn’t open until 3pm but I got there at 2 to help open. We were informed that the pool had been bought out for the day by the Black Alumni Association for a Juneteenth celebration so everyone would get in free. The pool was jam packed, although not more than the official capacity, I feel there were too many people since the capacity is for the WHOLE pool and not just the shallow end that isn’t blocked off. The first hour went off with minor safety infractions by the rambuctious kids.

At 3:50pm we called all the kids out of the pool for a ten minute break. As the two lifeguards on stand were clearing the pool, a little girl went off the slide. One of the guards went to talk to the girl about getting into the pool after the whistle and the other helped me and the other guards round up the rest of the kids to sit far enough away from the edge. I personally made sure no one went in the big pool until time and another guard watched the kiddy pool. When the break was almost up, I was told to go to the diving board stand. As I climbed the side of the stand I heard a young girl say “There’s somebody down there,” in a very matter of fact way that didn’t initially trigger any alarms. I finished the climb and said “what?” and turned around to see her eyes wide open and pointing straight down. I looked where she was pointing and could faintly see the outline of something. I focused a little harder and could clearly see two hands and two feet. I frantically grabbed for my whistle and blew the “going in” signal as I jumped.

The swim across the pool isn’t more than 15 meters but it felt like I was swimming forever.  I kept saying “oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” The other lifeguards say my head was only above water for a second before I swam underwater to where he was. As I got closer to the spot, I could plainly see a little boy. He was a black boy with short curly hair and he was almost completely in the fetal position he didn’t look older than 12. I was trying not to panic before I sank to the bottom of the deep end (I don’t remember if it was 10 or 8 feet) but I still didn’t take a big enough breath because I said “oh my God,” one last time. By the time I got to him I was out of breath and couldn’t make a “text book” lift. I grabbed him by the arm, planted my feet on the bottom, and shot to the top before I drowned myself. When I took my breath D was standing there waiting for me to pass him on. The kids that were there thought I was giving them the whistle to go back in the pool and as soon as I passed him off I started yelling for them to get out.

The pool manager helped me out and that’s when the adreneline stopped and I started to panic. D was already starting CPR and I tried to pull my mouth guard out of my fanny pack. I first pulled the left zipper against the right one then the right zipper against the left, effectively just moving the two across the line. Then I pulled them both against each other, that’s when A shoved me out of the way and began CPR. That’s when I really broke down. I started to panic saying “ten minutes ten minutes ten minutes” when C came over he asked me if I was alright and I just grabbed him by the arms and said “C, he was down there for TEN MINUTES!”

When I finally got my senses back, I helped N and S handle the crowd. We asked how old he was and if anyone knew who his parents were. When his dad came in, he was screaming and crying and tried to jump in the deep end. For what felt like eternity we took turns working on him and a firefighter that was there with his kids helped us (I still haven’t thanked that man!) When the paramedics showed up, we finally got some answers and his age changed from 13 to 8 (EIGHT!). They took his pants off to start an IV so I grabbed a towel to cover him from the crowd that was gathered behind the fence. He was pronounced dead at the hospital that day, but I know he was gone before I picked him up. When his cousins came forward they said he jumped off the diving board right before the whistle. He could have easily drowned while the guards were clearing the pool or scolding the little girl.

To this day his little face is forever stuck in my head. He had a bright smile in his pictures and according to his family, had big dreams.

I’m hoping that my story will help you realize that it only takes a small distraction to keep you from noticing something big. If you are sending your children to the pool this summer please make sure they are with a reliable buddy. LIFEGUARDS ARE NOT BABYSITTERS!!!!! If they are correcting your child they may miss something bigger.

Still to this day it’s difficult to swim in a pool I can not clearly see the bottom of. Every time I swim I see his little body. No parent should have to deal with the loss of a child and no lifeguard should have to deal with the loss either. I can’t speak for the others, and I changed their names for privacy, but every time I get in a pool, I wonder what he could be doing now.


Such an unlikely pair

that has beat the odds and has proven so many wrong

until something they fought in the first years

became the very thing they wanted so much

The love and kindness has always been there

the want and the need flourished

and with the disappointment

came the heartache and the sadness

month after month they fought over what seemed endless

day after day they took out their anger on eachother

Until the day their dreams came true

the life they always wanted was finally coming to light

they celebrated, they shared with the world

they both prepared in every way they could

Just as suddenly as it began, it ended

their world crashed down all around them

their pain was no longer hidden

dealing with the loss of their child is hard

but they’re doing it together.

they’re learning they need each other

no one else in their lives matter

All the people who were so mean and hateful

All the people who weren’t happy for them

All the people who don’t understand

They know they only need eachother

They know they will not let anything stop them from achieving their dream

Nothing is more important to either of them

Not a job, not person, not a place

They learned they were all they had

Even if it was the hard way

So they continue on their journey

They will get their dream

And one day in the future

They vow to see their  angel in heaven.

Dancing With The Stars

K, so I watched DWTS. I took notes while I watched.

Chad- (Cha Cha) He did awesome! As soon as he started I could see he is a natural! Score: 18

Shanon- (Viennese Waltz) A little shaky but she got better as she went on. Score: 18

Erin- (Cha Cha) Her arms were wierd and she needs to loosen up her shoulders a bit, they were in her ears the whole time! But her hips were amazing! Score: 21

Jake- (Viennese Waltz) I was worried about him because of the pre-dance footage. He had a few missteps, but overall he did ok! Score: 20

Niecy- (Cha Cha) First of all she is HILARIOUS! Jiggly parts, HA! She did really great though! Score: 18

Evan- (Viennese Waltz) As expected he had BEAUTIFUL lines. I thought he did wonderful. Score: 23

Buzz- (Cha Cha) I just thought he was a cute old man. He’s an American Legend and I can’t say anything bad. He did as good as one would think a man of his age would do. Score: 14

Nicole- (Viennese Waltz) Watching the practice footage, I could tell she’ll do amazing. I was right. AH MAH ZING! She doesn’t give herself enough credit! And Len was SO mean! Score: 25

Aiden- (Cha Cha) Honestly I missed most of the dance because of Edyta’s dress. She was practically naked! What I did see from him was not good. Score: 15

How did I know they’d put these two last?

Kate- (Viennese Waltz) WOW. She was pretty bad. She always says she can’t dance but WOW. I think once she loosens up and isn’t so nervous, she’ll do better. She did get a dose of her own berating during judging, too funny! Score: 16

Pamela- (Cha Cha) All I could see is hair and boobs. She did pretty good, but why was he touching her boobs practically the whole time?! Score: 21

Overall I was impressed with the cast. This is one season I’ll watch.

1 year


Today marks 1 year since we lost you. Everyday I think about you. I never thought that I would. I never knew how much you meant to me until you were gone. You were always there for my little sister. No matter which friends came and went, you two were always the constant. You are one of the only girls I have seen blossom from a little girl with mousy features to the beautiful young woman you became.

You left such a mark on the community, I don’t think you knew how loved you were! I miss you. You were like another sister to me. Always making fun of me as much (or more than) Priscilla. You two always made fun of the clothes I wore or how I did my hair. LOL, but ya’ll always made sure to fix it. I was always ok with you making fun of me because we always picked on you. You were so cute when you didn’t understand something, which was often. You’re funny ditzy ways still make me laugh, everytime  I think about it.

I just remembered the other day about when Nick brought home those 2 puppies. I named one Harley and the other Davidson. But after you and Davidson spent all day sitting on the couch and not doing much, we renamed him Sam. Do you remember? We gave him away because 2 puppies was too much, but I thought that was funny.

It seems like now, I meet someone new named Sam all the time. It’s so crazy. Not that I could ever forget you, but it’s always a constant reminder. You’ve changed the way I do things. I was always against people drinking and driving, but I was always the cool friend. Or I would drive when I though “I had it.” That’s all different now. I know that you and Raquel would never want anyone else’s family to go through what ya’lls did. So now, I don’t drink a drop if I’m driving. I try my best to make Pancho do the same, but you know how stubborn he is.

Sammy, I know that no one will ever replace you in our lives. I know you’re up there smiling down on us. You were such a sunshine! I miss you everyday and I can’t wait to see you again.

7 years

Today marks seven years with my husband. Not 7 years married, just 7 years together. It’s amazing how two people can change so much. We have literally grown up together. Everytime he’s there for me, I’m thankful to have him in my life. He was so strong during the miscarriage even though I know he was just as much a mess as me. We are both so proud and have our super stubborn days, but we make it. I would never say we’re perfect. We aren’t. We have our screaming matches and our crazy person moments, but we always make up for it. I’m so happy to have him in my life. I hope one day soon, we can share our love with each other with a child of our own. 🙂

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