I think…

Maybe that’s the problem, I think too much. I have been trying to have a baby for 3 1/2 years. My birth plan, my parenting plan and my family plan is something I have put a lot of thought into for a long time. I am not judging anyone. If I have an opinion on something, that doesn’t mean I hate you for choosing the opposite. I know that a lot of the things I am passionate about are hot button issues. It’s why I’m passionate about them. If there is something that other people are all about, you can’t oppose it half-heartedly. No one will ever take you seriously.

I am glad that I can have conversations with my BBC girls and never have to worry about being judged. I also know that not everyone is going to be like them. None of us take it personally when someone opposes our views, and if someone disagrees with our decisions, we don’t hold it against them. All of those girls are all over the spectrum. Some circed, some didn’t. Some breastfed, some bottle fed. Induced, not induced. Natural, drugged. But not one of us would ever believe we look down on them. Because we don’t.

So if ever you’re reading my blog with my opinions and you get offended at something I say, take a step back and remember that I didn’t post that to pick on you. I am not saying that anyone who does the things I don’t like are any less of a person/woman/parent. I’m saying I have a different opinion than you. I’m saying I like to get all the facts and make an informed decision. If in the end my informed decision is that thing I was so against, so be it.

One last thing. I personally don’t like when people remind me that I haven’t given birth. Maybe right now the wound is too fresh. In my opinion telling a girl who just lost her baby within the last month that she doesn’t get it because she’s not a parent/hasn’t given birth/just doesn’t know, is kind of rude. Thank you for reminding me that I’m the biggest failure at the simplest female role.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jessica Oliver
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 20:01:15

    Cousin,

    Since I will be 28 next month I have had my fair share of people pressing the issue of “why haven’t you had a baby yet?” too. It hurts. It comes from people that should be supportive, that should be your friends, that should be your family. I was with my ex for almost 7 years when he decided one day that he didn’t love me anymore and had to leave because I “can’t have babies.” and left. (asshole much?) Now I am happily married and what is the first thing out of my dad’s other half’s mouth to my new husband? “When are you going to give us a granddaughter”. It hurt. Because I don’t know if I can have kids/ carry a child.

    Sorry, ramble mode.

    I am very VERY sorry for your loss and love you and always know that you are not alone in this. You are NOT less of a woman and will make an incredible mother someday. And sorry it’s taken me a while to get around to saying that. I haz teh slow sometimes. 😛

    Love you,

    Jess

    Reply

    • Jasmine
      Mar 12, 2010 @ 20:56:03

      It’s ok cousin. In our family it’s especially hard. We come from a huge family and everyone thinks that Grandma’s fertility is automatically ours. It sucks. But we’re all in this together. Don’t ever think you’re alone!

      Reply

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