It’s so not fair…

I was cleaning today and about had a mental breakdown. I thought I was ok. I knew I was still sad, but it hit me like a ton of bricks out of no where; I’m not pregnant. I’m not pregnant but you know who is?

  • A drug addict.
  • A child abuser.
  • A neglectful woman.
  • A teenager.
  • A woman with 4 kids already.
  • A girl who doesn’t want kids.
  • A girl who’s contemplating abortion.
  • A woman who’s using it as a bargaining chip.
  • A woman who was about to leave her husband.
  • A woman who’s slept with 5 people beforehand.

Why does that even make sense?! Why is that in any way fair? So by all logic, I should do everything wrong in order to get what I want. It should be hard for them, not me! You know what I pictured this morning? God passing out babies to all the women who don’t want one or shouldn’t have one and somehow I got mixed in. 4 weeks pass and he realized the mistake and took mine. That’s how I feel. Like he took mine back! I’m just so upset by everything. What am I doing wrong? Why am I failing as a woman?

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. lifewithscottzachary
    Mar 14, 2010 @ 13:38:19

    ((hugs)) Your sadness and anger are very raw right now. For me, it always came in waves like that. You’ll never know why your baby was taken from you and that is the worst in my opinion. Lean on your family and your husband and just grieve for the loss of your baby. Just don’t let your anger consume you. Your angel would not want that and I know you don’t either.


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