Gender Reveal

While I wait for my video of this to upload I just wanted to share my thoughts. A little less than 5 years ago, the man that I love and I decided we wanted to try to have a baby.

I wasn’t so smart the first couple of months and we tried to just sabotage my birth control because it worked for so many that way. That was dumb. That’s not where I start our TTC count either. But that is when I started to think about what was going to happen. What was our baby going to look like, what would we name him/her? So many nights I would dream of what my baby would look like. So many days I’d day dream about what color we’d run out to buy. Days turned to weeks which turned to months and eventually years. We did everything we could to get pregnant and the vision of my baby was fading away. I truly never believed it was going to happen for us. There were days when I blamed myself, just knowing it could be me. Others, I blamed him. We fought and bickered and nothing seemed to help us.

When we got pregnant in February of 2010, I started to see the vision of my baby again. The hope that I’d lost was coming back. As we all know, that hope was very soon gone again. My depression sunk in and I started to give up. If that angel had not stepped in and pointed me toward the clinic I didn’t know existed, I’d probably be on deployment and losing that vision again. I don’t really know how I would have made it.

Luckily, I didn’t have to lose hope. It only took one try and I was on my way to meeting my little baby. This whole pregnancy has been nothing but joy. I can’t believe that very soon, my little baby will be here. I am going to be a mommy! I wish there were words for what I feel but when I think about how lucky I am, all I can do is cry.

This gender reveal was my way of sharing that with my family. The feeling they got from seeing the cake’s color, pales in comparison to the excitement I feel every day. I can’t believe my baby is on the way. I can’t wait to see my dreams come true.

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